Replacement attorneys assure court they did not use AI, simply forgot to lawyer
Firm says latest setback was produced entirely by actual people
NEW ORLEANS — Just months after replacing one legal team following a highly publicized courtroom dust-up involving artificial intelligence and hallucinated legal citations, LSU Health Foundation announced Wednesday it has begun searching for a third set of attorneys after its replacement counsel managed to suffer a legal setback the old-fashioned way.
Unlike the previous attorneys, whose legal research was criticized for allegedly citing court opinions that existed only in the digital imagination of artificial intelligence, officials stressed the latest mishap was achieved entirely through authentic human effort.
“We want to be perfectly clear that no AI chatbots were involved in this one,” a spokesperson said. “Every procedural misstep was handcrafted by experienced legal professionals using only natural intelligence.”
The latest development comes after a federal appeals court dismissed the Foundation’s appeal in the long-running Sucette Harbor litigation involving the City of Mandeville and Councilman-at-Large Jason Zuckerman. The dismissal stemmed from a procedural filing failure rather than the merits of the underlying dispute, prompting legal experts to describe the outcome as “an unfortunate reminder that deadlines are more than gentle suggestions.”
Foundation officials declined to elaborate on exactly how the filing went sideways, saying only that “the calendar remains under internal investigation.”
Reached for comment, members of the Foundation’s former legal team appeared almost relieved.
“Look, our citations may have been fictional,” one former attorney said. “But at least we filed them on time.”
Another added, “It’s comforting to know that artificial intelligence hasn’t replaced human attorneys. Some mistakes are still proudly made by people, just not us.”
Sources familiar with the Foundation’s attorney search said interviews for a third legal team will now include several rigorous screening questions, including:
- Can you distinguish real court opinions from imaginary ones?
- Do you own a calendar?
- If a deadline appears on that calendar, what do you do?
The Foundation also announced several reforms intended to restore confidence in its outside legal representation, including mandatory Outlook reminders, Google Calendar invitations, sticky notes attached to computer monitors, and a decorative wall calendar featuring motivational courthouse photography.
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